Oooooooooooo, I know right?!
I’m going there.
What’s that picture of you ask?
Well, it’s my high horse atop a soap box. I’m climbing on cos I’ve got some shit to get off my chest mate…
I agree with this definition. I would, however, love to make some additions, caveats or appendixes (if you will) to bring it in line with my idea of feminism- and wouldn’t you know I’ve got my social justice fingers flexed and I’m about to smash out some salty truths.
Let’s all just pretend that didn’t sound how it sounded…. yeah?
Here are my 10 reasons, (in my less than humble opinion) you are NOT a feminist Sandra
Firstly, let me get this out of the way real quick, this is not a post about judging women’s bodies and sexuality, so if you’ve come looking to read an article all about slut shaming, I’ve got two things to say to you,
1. You are the absolute worst and in the wrong place,
2. If you still want to clutch your pearls, you won’t have to wait long…
1. You are not a feminist if you… Slut shame
Whose body is it?
It is a simple question, right?
Oh, so many people like to weigh in on a woman’s body and what she does with it. Slut shaming is not only gross but it’s highly dangerous. Questions like, ‘What was she wearing?’ Would not fucking exist if we didn’t have at best: an unconscious bias and at worst a sick vigilante fetish over ‘the bad kind’ of woman, ‘getting what they deserve’ – what’s the ‘bad kind’ you ask? Well that just depends on the entirely arbitrary set of ever-changing fucking guidelines we as women are supposed to follow as to not be ‘Othered’ or seen as ‘One of those women’, you know Sluts, Whores, Strippers. All the women that society deems beneath us, even if:
- Men who enjoy heterosexual sex and have a lot of it are celebrated but the women whom they are having it with are somehow – what? Disgusting? Well, they can’t be that disgusting if they are catching dick all day. A woman’s moral character is not linked to her enjoyment of orgasms nor the frequency of them or the volume of partners she has. Remember the saying, no one gonna wanna buy the cow when they get the milk for free? SOME PEOPLE JUST WANT MILK, FREE OR NOT. Oh, and don’t get me started on comparing a fully human woman to a fucking animal…
- Whores, prostitutes, hookers wouldn’t exist if their service wasn’t in constant demand and quite frankly, the idea that it is illegal to trade sex for money is ludicrous to me, make it fucking legal and you cut out all the sleazy underbelly namely predatory pimps and unsafe conditions. Yet again we except that for men, its just who they are, they have sex. But it’s so repellent that women have sex with them, especially if they enjoy but god forbid, they make a business from their pussy – that’s just for white male CEO’s. As Sherlock says in Elementary, ‘All sex costs something, at least hookers are honest about the price’
- Oh, and strippers? How demeaning, you strip for money? I mean first of all I’m not here for the fucking debate of ‘Is it degrading or is it empowering?’ I’m pretty sure most people who engage in this debate are not now, nor have ever been strippers. It’s the adage of money that gets people really riled; most women will get naked during their lifetime but if they spin a profit – well then get thee to a nunnery. Also, you wanna judge strippers but your pole fitness class be cute right?! Fuck all the way off until you reach the sea.
To walk the line of being an acceptable as a woman is a constantly shifting minefield because god forbid you go to far the other way and now, you’re a prude. All women are human and worthy of being treated as such, so shove this tier-based pyramid scheme of chauvinistic, misogynistic bullshit right up your hoop.
2. You are not a feminist if you… are Pro-Life
Now, I’m not talking about your own personal choices here, you may hold any opinion you wish in regards to your own reproductive organs but stay the fuck away from mine. You cannot come for other women’s right to choose. The end. I’m not here to give you persuasive arguments about certain circumstances. All circumstances. Every. Last. Fucking. One. Are valid. If its not your body you don’t get a fucking vote. Also, you are not pro-life, you are anti-abortion. The term pro life is fucking misleading. It makes you sound like you give a damn about the woman who you are trying to legally control, or the baby for a matter of fact that you no longer give a shit about once it’s been birthed.
3. You are not a feminist if you… are a TERF
TERF stands for Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist in case you were unaware of the term. It means that they believe only humans born with a vagina are women. Its abhorrent and harmful and it tries to erase the validity of Trans women who quite frankly deal with more than enough shit already.
You cannot believe in the equality of the sexes while denying an entire portion of a sex exists.
4. You are not a feminist if you… Think White Women are the Lynch Pin of Feminism
There are so many examples throughout history of white feminists throwing their Black and Brown sisters in arms under the fucking bus to ‘advance the cause’ and if you think this is just a problem of the past, then you my friend are part of the problem. As a white woman I cannot speak to the struggles of Black and Brown women, so instead below are articles written by women of colour about the past and present problems with White Feminism.
5. You are not a feminist if you… Vote or Support People Whose Agenda Hurts Women and/or Minorities
This is simple, if you are voting for officials who have a track record or an intention of sexist, racists, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, fat phobic or any other fucking views that hurts women or minorities – you are not a feminist, you are an arsehole.
This includes buying products or services from known bigots.
6. You are not a feminist if you… Promote Diet Culture
Well, here we are again folks. Women’s bodies, how should they look? Let’s ask advertisers, shall we? The rise in diet teas, waist trainers, diet pills, ‘thinspiration’, photo shop culture – to name but a few whose aim is to profit off fear and scare women into taking up less space and be more palatable for the male gaze has taken on an entirely new form with social media and celebrity/influencer endorsements.
We are not simply our flesh.
We have a right to love, respect, dignity and human rights no matter our size.
Fat is not a dirty word.
Thin is not the gold standard.
No body shape or size is an indication of someone’s personality, work ethic, health or morals.
Everybody has a swimsuit body.
The above link amazing place to learn (quietly) about fat women’s lived experience’s and the toxic effect that diet culture has on their lives.
7. You are not a feminist if you… Don’t Speak Up on Other Inequalities
Just as life doesn’t happen in a vacuum, nor does injustice. So, to hold the opinion that feminism is the ONLY cause worth your time shows not only the fact you are part of the White Feminism problem but also that you are:
b. Wilfully ignorant
c. Intentionally bigoted
d. ALL OF THE ABOVE.
8. You are not a feminist if you… If You Pick and Choose Your Feminist Beliefs (i.e., men still pay)
You cannot demand equality of the sexes on one hand and then lament the fall of chivalry (which was not exactly a pillar of equality sis) on the other. Nor can you believe it is your right to have dates paid for, doors opened and other ‘perks’ of patriarchy.
9. You are not a feminist if you… If You Believe ‘The Future is Female’
THE FUTURE IS EQUAL.
Isn’t that the whole fucking point?! We are trying to dismantle the patriarchy which is toxic to all genders, not build a matriarchy which is just as problematic.
10. You are not a feminist if you… Don’t Support Other Women
Internalised misogyny, oh how thou art a shit stain. Look it’s a real thing, surprising amounts of sexist views on women come from other women and its our job to pick that shit apart, question the source and grow so we can pass on facts not propaganda. Part of this work is supporting other women, particularly the most underserved e.g., Women of Colour and those in the LGBTQIA+ community in our number.
In summary, being a feminist to me means simply to support ALL women. Intersection is fundamental and other movements for equality are not separate. This list is not exhaustive and I in no way claim to be an expert or monolith of women’s experience.
Just be decent, accept you’ll fuck up
Pledge to learn about other women’s lived experiences
Listen more than you speak
Basically, do your best not to be a twat.