Highway to the Beta Zone

Tuesday 18th January 2022

Happy New Year!

What’s that? Yes, yes I am aware that is indeed not the first of January and we are marching in the middle of the month but as it turns out, the universe had conspired to prevent me from wishing you the compliments of the season before now (I may or may not be currently listening to the complete collection of Sherlock Holmes, so if I’m slightly more Victorian in tone, that is for why)

After Nano came Christmas and during Christmas came covid and after Covid came discombobulation at the fact I hadn’t really experienced Christmas. So I’ve been getting my head into the right place to come back.

Right, well now we are all caught up…

Today has been an interesting one, not so much in the sense that anything of particular merit or intrigue has laid its shadow at my door but more in the case that life happened. You know what I mean? Those days were despite your best efforts and well laid out plan you can’t seem to catch a foothold because things keep happening. Little things, like for example your body demanding more sleep than you had planned and thus making you sleep through your (quite frankly obnoxious) alarm for two hours, missing the precise allotted window for your new morning routine on the second day you had decided to implement it. Or having to take an extremely important phone call that could not wait as you sit down to begin creating for the day. Or needing to grab some unexpected things for dinner because they hadn’t arrived in the shopping delivery (apparently ordering them in the first place is required, according to ‘The Man’ aka Sainsbury’s) All this to say, life happened today.

Normally when such things have happened in the past, it would derail my day and I would find my mental health snagged. But this year I have decided my word of the year is LEARN. This has had the happy side effect of making space for me to fuck up and that really showed up for me in a big way today. So, instead of getting myself into a tizz, I felt ok with it all, I am in beta, and part of that means pattern spotting, bug reporting (to myself), and above all permission to get it wrong as many times as it takes to get it right.

For someone like me, who *and I cannot clarify this enough* despises change, more precisely sudden expected change, the fact that I could pretty much take this in my stride is huge. As is the fact it hasn’t made me feel the need to start everything over or call this day a write-off. Rather I have done what I can and been kind to myself, something which I do not find easy.

So today, while not going to the plan has in fact proven that I am capable of a pivot when life invariably happens, which is pretty freaking awesome if you ask me.

Until next time,

be kind to yourself.

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